K Tempest Tumbles

I'm K. Tempest Bradford, a writer, blogger, tech geek, and all around nerd. I'm such a big science fiction/fantasy/speculative fiction fan that I even write it (I know, pretty hard core!).

I have a non-Tumblr blog and that's where the majority of my long-form posts go. This blog is for my more fannish activities, link sharing, and squeeness.
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Posts tagged "Rape Culture"

legallyblinding:

A friend of mine is a student at Notre Dame. She was out with friends at a restaurant in South Bend, when this happened:

This photo was taken tonight at Nick’s Patio in South Bend, IN. These clever gentlemen thought it was super funny to talk about how much they would like to “violently rape that bitch,” “take it from that cunt,” and “beat the shit out of her.” They mentioned being puzzled about why “whores should even get paid” for the privilege of having their small penises inside them. They also thought it was super awesome to call me a “fucking whore” when I asked them to stop yelling ugly misogynistic things across the restaurant.


Sadly the manager asked me to leave after I began taking photos of these men. I explained to the manager that the group had been talking about beating up women, raping women, and were using extraordinarily offensive sexist language including bitch, cunt, slut, etc., but the manager simply told me to “return to my seat.” I declined to do so and left, while the men continued to shout “whore” at me (and at least one threatened to rape me as well).

To sum it up, a group of douchebags decided to create a hostile environment for no fucking reason. My friend was brave enough to stand up for herself and other people in the restaurant, but when she decided to do something about it, THE MANAGER ASKED HER TO LEAVE. Chances are these kids are Notre Dame students, and their actions likely violated the school’s behavioral code.

Here’s the information for the restaurant. Let them know that pandering to lowlifes is totally unacceptable. If there are groups or organizations that keep track of places that fuck up like this, let them know.

Nick’s Patio
http://www.nickspatio.com
1710 North Ironwood Dr.
South Bend, IN 46635 
Tel: 574-277-7400

Please help to spread the word.

Just FYI on some things. I called this establishment and the woman who answered the phone is aware of this story. She told me that, according to people who were working there and “other customers,” the story above is not true. I say this not because I actually believe this woman, but to let y’all know what the employees are telling the owner.

Apparently the owner will be in the restaurant today (Monday, 12/17) from 1PM local time and is willing to take calls regarding this matter.

Also, you might want to hie yourself over to the Yelp listing… http://www.yelp.com/biz/nicks-patio-south-bend

ouyangdan:

yukidama:

dreamrabbit:

electronicsatellite:

So Tumblr, normally I can take insults pretty well but a recent happening (of about an hour ago) has really made my blood boil.

So I’m walking in town by myself, and a woman who was about 20 was walking in front of me. We turn a few of the same corners, so it’s obvious we’re going to the same place.

But then I realise that she keeps looking over her shoulder at me. And then she sped up a little, clinging to her bag.

It came to my attention she thought I was going to attack her.

To test my theory, I sped up a little. She noticed and sped up even more until she was practically jogging.

Now here’s a few details:

Me: Overweight 17 year old boy wearing shorts and a t-shirt with Cookie Monster on it.

Her: 20 year old woman wearing high heels and has a bag

Time of day: 2pm

Clearly I looked threatening and was going to attack her.

Inspired by the “Racism in America” youtube videos, I decided to have a little fun.

I kept picking up my pace, she kept turning around, noticing I had sped up, and in turn did the same.

Then, after making sure she was looking I suddenly started into a sprint and when I was about 3 foot away from her she screamed.

And then I ran straight past her.

I didn’t get to ser her face as I ran past, but I hoping she was incredibly embarrassed.

In retrospect, I probably should have asked her for her Social Justic blog URL…

Misandry doesn’t exist apparently, isn’t that right Tumblr?

Okay. I must be losing my mind, because, when I read this, I could have sworn that the OP really and truly believes that I should feel sorry for him for being stereotyped/victimised.

*reads again, just to make sure*

Wow. That is what I read. Unbelievable. Okay, let’s strip out of this situation your wounded sense of propriety or your offence at being so stereotyped, or whatever it was that you felt justified your actions and look at this situation neutrally: You noticed that a woman, through no fault of your own, was acting in manner that suggested she was afraid of you.

Now, there were lots of different things you could have done in this situation. You could have smiled and waved to show her that you could see her looking at you and to appear less threatening, all at once. You could have fell back a step or two so she would feel more comfortable. You could have crossed the street. You could have, in a no-doubt sincere fit of over-compensation, channelled your internal Martin Freeman. If you were truly offended, you could have approached her at that point and asked her why she felt threatened. Or you could have done nothing at all, bit your lip, and simply ignored it. Any one of those actions would have been a kinder and more human thing than what you actually did.

Because, instead, when you saw a frightened woman you did everything you could to make her more afraid. You happily played up to the predator stereotype you claim to abhor and acted in as intentionally menacing a way as you could, to, in your own words, “have a little fun” with her. You carried on to such a point, that when you ran past her, again, according to your own description, as you drew close she literally screamed with fear and panic.

And then you came online to complain about how you had been unfairly stereotyped and victimised? Seriously?

Let’s make something perfectly clear here: You were angry because you felt like you were being unfairly pre-judged. She was terrified because she thought she might be hurt or worse. Both are unpleasant things to feel, but one emotion, hers, is far, far worse than the other and you made it worse, deliberately. Make no mistake, what you did here was utterly unacceptable. Your actions were in no way just and you were not a victim here. You lost any right to claim any morality in your action when you saw that another human being was afraid of you and decided to make that person more afraid. You should be ashamed of yourself and deciding if that is the kind of man you want to be, not coming online to tell other people how bad your day was and trying to get them to justify your abhorrent behaviour.

~DreamR

Yes, OP, you are clearly helping your case by terrorizing and harassing someone who is scared of you. Stupid ass motherfucker, then you wonder why women say they hate men.

Reblogging for excellent commentary. 

OP is disgusting. 

OP is super lucky that woman’s instinct was not to try and hit him really hard before she ran the fuck away. Asshole!

(via cabell)

Victim-blaming is…unfairly blaming someone for the violence that was done unto them. When it comes to sexual harassment, assault or rape, victim-blaming manifests in a number of ways. Post-assault, people often find that their choices and actions surrounding the assault (and sometimes their entire sexual history and other past behaviors) are put under a microscope. Was their outfit too provocative? Were they wearing too much makeup? Were they walking out too late? Were they in a “bad” neighborhood? Were they drinking? Were they dancing? Does their gender expression deviate from feminine or masculine norms in some way? Questions like these are asked by the legal system, the media and society, who look for some reason to put blame on a person who has experienced violence in order to explain WHY that violence was done to them. This gives others reasons to believe they will remain safe, if only they do not behave/dress/be the way that the person who was assaulted behaves/dresses/is.[11]

high0castle:

artsyneurotic:

momochanners:

QFT.

As an addendum to this, the recent interview with the executive producer of the upcoming Tomb Raider should be a LOUD WARNING that people should stay far, FAR away from this game. Enemies trying to rape Lara, saying that the male gamer will feel a “need to protect her” (since she clearly can’t do anything herself 9_9 ) and constantly “building her up and just when she gets confident, breaking her down again.”

I’m not going to support these assholes and their torture porn game and neither should anyone else.  If you want an awesome female lead, I’m guessing Assassin’s Creed: Liberation will be your better bet.

Ugh. And to think when I first saw pictures and heard first snippets about the game a year or so ago, I was actually cautiously optimistic. Then this bullshit came forward. On top of being gross and degrading, the rhetoric used to defend it is equally awful. You couldn’t pay me to get anywhere near this game.

(via cypheroftyr)

barbituratecat:

This post deals with discussions of rape and sexual assault, and may be triggering for some readers.

Last night, I read an article about the new Tomb Raider game. As a gamer, and a woman, Tomb Raider has always been on my radar, but as I’m more of an FPS/horror fan, it was never something that I played. That being said, Lara Croft being the gaming monolith that she is, it is almost impossible to NOT know at least the basics of the character, and series.

The article I read wasn’t linked to in a very flattering light. The article itself was written in an unflattering tone, and the comments obviously followed suit. Now the words themselves, what Ron Rosenberg was saying, weren’t inherently awful. How they wanted to make Lara more “human” and relatable. That you’d want to “protect” her. And one of the ways writers like to take a strong female character down a notch is to rape them and/or threaten them with rape. The first read, I wasn’t sure what to think. Other people seemed to be mad. And I definitely didn’t feel like it was a GREAT idea, but at the same time, I couldn’t quite articulatewhyit bugged me so much, until I talked with my husband about it and broke it down in to several basic parts.

First, I am mad because other people are upset. I don’t like people being upset. Ireallydon’t like it when people I love are upset. A lot of the people I love are women, some of whom have been in abusive relationships/situations. Making them upset makes me upset, which makes me want to punch someone in the face to make them feel better. Ron Rosenberg is not close enough for me to punch him in the face, and also, he’s not the one that deserves it. He did not create rape culture, although he seems to be intent on perpetuating it.

Second, I am upset because as a gamer, I don’t want my characters totally relatable in a lot of games. I am not threatened by Lara Croft’s body or skills. She is pixels and polygons* and is not a real person. When I play a game, I don’t want someone who has the same skill level as I do, because that’s effectively nothing and that would probably be a really boring game unless you are interested in a game about someone who changes a lot of diapers and folds the same blanket roughly 500 times a day. I want a hero! I want an expert! Nathan Drake is a funny, human, relatable character, but even after he’s been wandering in the desert for days and is on the verge of death, he’s still scaling buildings and walls like the freaking King of the Monkeys. It’s totally possible to make a character relatable and still ensure they are bad-ass. No one is saying “Nathan Drake is too unrelatable for men, let’s rape him and make him more vulnerable”.

Third, I don’t WANT to protect Lara Croft. I want Lara Croft to kick ass and swing from vines and shoot people or whatever it is she does best. I am not interested in babysitting a character, and that’s what it sounds like they’re doing with this franchise. Maybe I’m wrong, only playing this game will actually show me how bad or good it is, and I don’t have that chance yet. But to me, playing a game where the character is vulnerable or weak in any way feels like a total setback. I am scared to advance. I am scared to put my character/self in a dangerous situation, and as a result, the game isn’t fun for me. [Survival Horror is a strange creature, though, where the fear IS the point of the game, and you know what you’re getting in to when you play a Silent Hill or Resident Evil. There is no blind-side where you think you’re playing a puzzle game and suddenly someone’s trying to do you up the butt or something.]

Fourth and lastly, I am upset by this change because as a woman, I don’t want to be reminded that rape exists. Frankly, I don’t need to be reminded that rape exists. Statistically, I am more likely to be assaulted by someone I know than a stranger. Statistically, my daughter is more likely to be assaulted than your son, and that scares the ever-loving shit out of me. I already live in a world where I am made all too aware of the possibilities of rape and sexual assault, simply because I am a woman. Please, let me have a world where the go-to device to make a woman seem less powerful is to threaten her with sexual assault, because it’s lazy writing and it smacks of misogyny when you can’t think of something more creative. There are other ways to show a female character, or any character, is at a disadvantage without randomly trying to show penises at her and/or them. Maybe she can’t climb as well at first. Maybe her jump mechanic doesn’t work 100% and you have to retry. Who knows, the possibilities are endless, seriously guys.

In the end, what I want to know is this: Do you have a daughter, Ron? And if you do, how would you rather she sees herself? As a strong, kick-ass, undefeatable powerhouse? Or a woman who needs to be reminded on a daily basis, from all forms of media and her father included, that she can be raped? Come on, Ron, we’ve all had enough women in fridges.

*I think it’s polygons, I haven’t read up a lot on the latest graphics and whatever, don’t yell at me if I’m wrong. Polygons are what we used in my day and we liked it, damnit.

My thoughts on this are at the ABW, but pretty much mirror what is said above.

karenhealey:

lavender-labia:

“Good morning New York. I’m sorry to bother you. I’m not hungry. I do not want food or money, I just need a little support. I got dumped last week and I’m trying to give her space but I can’t do nothing. If you have any words of advice for me, a quote that resonates with you or a story about second chances, please raise your hand and I’ll come to you. I have sharpie markers and I’ll stay as long as it takes.”

lavender-labia:

cuddlingisoptional:

I normally do not reblog this kind of shit, but for any dude that has ever been dumped, still in love and desperately tried to win her heart back, no matter the circumstance…this is legit shit. And do not give me that bullshit “dude, if she dumped you she obviously doesnt want to be with you, just get over it, you pathetic asshole”…First of all, fuck you. Second of all, fuck you.

Your comments are the epitome of rape culture and everything that is wrong with concept of friend-zoning. Fuck you. Like actually fuck you, you entitled piece of shit. Women owe you NOTHING. Women do know what they want, and if they dump you it IS because they don’t want to be with you. Stop perpetuating the sexist assumption that women don’t know their own mind. No means no, and any other interpretation is rape culture at work. You and your commentary can actually fuck off. 

As for the OP: I’m speechless. “I’m trying to give her space, but I’m walking around with her face on a sandwich board and I’m convincing everyone that she’s the horrible person here and I’m so unfairly victimised.” Cool story, bro. Tell me more about how you’re irresistible and why everyone should want to be with you.

Reblogging to add: behaviours like this become even more terrifying when you consider that the riskiest time in a woman’s life is when she breaks up with a male partner (in that she is significantly more likely to be murdered than at any other point in her life). Too often that partner perceives the break up as a challenge to their authority/masculinity and take drastic action to either a) get them back or b) stop anyone else from having them either. That - in addition to the rapey/entitled undertones - is what makes this dude’s actions so fucking terrifying. 

Thanks for nothing, horrifying romantic comedies.

People talk about sexual assault like it’s a bad habit that men have.
Jon Stewart (via pnasty)

(via feministquotes)

super-eklectic1:

ethiopienne:

South Carolina man threw a 12-pound bowling ball at victim’s head when she refused to let him buy drinks for her.

stfurapeculture:

feistyfeminist:

Rape culture is when men feel so entitled to have access to women that they throw bowling balls at us when they are denied.

and that would’ve been his last day on earth

(via slutofsubstance)

The fictional image of the Black man as rapist has always strengthened its inseparable companion: the image of the Black woman as chronically promiscuous. For once the notion is accepted that Black men harbor irresistible and animal-like sexual urges, the entire race is invested with bestiality. If Black men have their eyes on white women as sexual objects, then Black women must certainly welcome the sexual attentions of white men. Viewed as “loose women” and whores, Black women’s cries of rape would necessarily lack legitimacy.
Angela Davis in Women, Race, and Class (via daniellemertina)

aka why I didn’t reblog that “through the eyes of a rapist” post. not fanning the flames.  (via ethiopienne)

(via feministquotes)

I am over this rape culture where the privileged with political and physical and economic might, take what and who they want, when they want it, as much as they want, any time they want it.

I am over the endless resurrection of the careers of rapists and sexual exploiters — film directors, world leaders, corporate executives, movie stars, athletes — while the lives of the women they violated are permanently destroyed, often forcing them to live in social and emotional exile.

I am over the passivity of good men. Where the hell are you?

You live with us, make love with us, father us, befriend us, brother us, get nurtured and mothered and eternally supported by us, so why aren’t you standing with us? Why aren’t you driven to the point of madness and action by the rape and humiliation of us?

I am over years and years of being over rape.

And thinking about rape every day of my life since I was 5-years-old.

And getting sick from rape, and depressed from rape, and enraged by rape.

And reading my insanely crowded inbox of rape horror stories every hour of every single day.

I am over being polite about rape. It’s been too long now, we have been too understanding.

We need to OCCUPYRAPE in every school, park, radio, TV station, household, office, factory, refugee camp, military base, back room, night club, alleyway, courtroom, UN office. We need people to truly try and imagine — once and for all — what it feels like to have your body invaded, your mind splintered, your soul shattered. We need to let our rage and our compassion connect us so we can change the paradigm of global rape.

There are approximately one billion women on the planet who have been violated.

ONE BILLION WOMEN.

The time is now. Prepare for the escalation.

(via feministquotes)